My Cute Little Dolphin
by Beetho
Summary: Makoto Tachibana wasn't going to pretend that dating Haruka Nanase wasn't a bit of a struggle. MakoHaru. Ace!Haruka. NagiRei side ship. Finished, standby for updates. T for language and discussion of sexuality. Possible omake, would be M. Feedback appreciated!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** This was supposed to be a oneshot based off a headcanon me and a friend discussed over Skype, about how we thought it was cute and fitting that Haruka might be asexual. So here's a short fanfiction about it.

Note, I personally don't identify as asexual (I'm demi-pan romantic/sexual), but I know friends who do and have different friends who interpret it differently. I kind of used the basic wiki definition of asexuality for Haruka. I ask that if you give me constructive feedback on that aspect of the story specifically, to please make it constructive, or perhaps private message me. I don't want to misinterpret people that identify with asexuality, but from my understanding there can be many interpretations of it. So please, if you don't know much about it, I would do some research or talk to people first hand who identify with it.

This story is already finished and waiting to be uploaded, I'm just going to wait and get feedback before I put it all up. I may or may not include an omake at the end, that basically gives into fan service, about one of the few times Haruka and Makoto might actually _do_ do any sexual activities together. (That part would be rated M. But I think the language I used in this is pretty tame and the talk of sexuality, I think is one appropriate for teenagers at the least.)

* * *

Makoto Tachibana wasn't going to pretend that dating Haruka Nanase wasn't a bit of a struggle.

Having known each other since kindergarten, there wasn't a thing the boys didn't know about each other. Despite being one of little words and outwardly expressing almost no emotion, Nanase was like an open book to his long time friend. Makoto basically translated his silence and blunt remarks to friends and classmates, and that was how it was for ages. He did all the talking, even in regards to their friendship, and what few things Haruka said could stand alone and spoke volumes. His silence was sometimes the only answer Tachibana needed.

He had always been able to read his friend. Now that they were dating, that shouldn't have made a difference … right?

It was after school and the boys had just gotten back to Haruka's house. It was normally more convenient to get together there or use his home as a hang out with friends since his parents were hardly ever home, and well, the Tachibana house was a full (and loud) one.

Haruka dropped his school bag behind the couch before picking up the remote and taking a seat. Makoto followed behind.

"Remote?" the raven haired boy offered. The other shook his head giving a gentle smile.

"I don't care what we watch. You can pick, Haru-chan," Makoto replied as he eased into the sofa and gently leaned up against the other.

As they settled on something to watch (there wasn't much on) a silence was established as the two of them half watched the corny drama on the screen and half became lost in thought.

If Haru wasn't paying attention to the show, he was probably thinking about taking a bath later or their next swim practice, Makoto thought. Hower himself had something very specific on his mind.

When it was established that the two of them were now dating (an uneventful happening that really just went down as Haruka asking his friend to be his boyfriend one day, lounging around much like they were) Makoto learned something about Haru that he had never known or would've guessed.

Haruka Nanase was asexual.

The term was foreign to Tachibana. He had heard it mentioned and seen the term around online here and there, but his knowledge of sexualities really consisted of hetero, homo, and bisexual until Haruka sat him down and gave him a little lesson. He swore, it was the most he'd heard his blue eyed companion talk at once in his _life_.

It took a few goes for Makoto to actually comprehend the term and how Haru embraced it; how he felt and thought about sex and how this would in turn affect Makoto and their relationship. In the end, Makoto didn't care what his boyfriend called it — if sex was something the other wasn't comfortable with or interested in, he wasn't about to force him. He assured the other that he had feelings for him regardless and that he didn't have to do anything he didn't want.

But Tachibana wasn't going to lie (not that he was asked of the subject). His romantic feelings for Nanase had been in the workings for a while now; he speculated it was probably the summer they transitioned into high school he became fully aware of his feelings for his friend. Romantic and emotional attachment were the extend of his feelings for the other until puberty came around and he eventually crossed into the space of 'hormonal young adult'.

It was a lie to say that sex with Nanase had never crossed his mind both before they became a couple and after the fact. And guilt over it racked Makoto the bone, especially knowing now how the other felt about it.

He acknowledged that his guilt probably stemmed from that he still didn't _completely_ understand asexuality. After Haruka explained how he identified with it he had gone home to do some research on his own, and the level of variation between how it could be interpreted confused him further.

"_I don't find myself … sexually attracted to people, I guess_," is what Haru had said. Makoto had frowned. "_Don't interpret that as I don't think you're beautiful…!_" Makoto smiled softly to himself, thinking of how his boyfriend's face had turned crimson. "_I … think you're gorgeous... It's just … you know … sex has never crossed my mind. It's almost … an unpleasant thought for me. I don't see people like that. As means to release sexual desire. In fact … I don't think I can say I've ever _felt _that desire. Or a sensation of lust for another_."

What stumped Makoto by the end of the night was that Haruka told him that he had never masturbated; he had never felt the desire or need. The brunette had blushed fiercely when his newly made boyfriend returned the question. He was reluctant to answer, and even more reluctant when prompted to answer if he had ever gotten off thinking about him. He almost felt dirty admitting that he actually _had_. Suddenly, he was framing Haruka to be this virgin saint in his mind that he might corrupt.

That night ended shortly after that, with the two boys, beat-faced and tense, standing at the threshold of the Nanase house, exchanging a small goodnight kiss, and parting for the entirety of the weekend — a feat that never occurred. It almost made Tachibana think that their relationship would be short lived.

Later Haruka explained that he couldn't see people sexually, but rather romantically, and that Makoto was one of the few people he saw that way. He confided in him that at one point in time he had felt a sort of attachment and romantic attraction to Rin, but that it wouldn't have worked because Rin couldn't bring himself to understand his lack of desire to have sex.

This made Makoto both sad and even more conflicted. On one hand, he thought it was unfortunate that, despite being good friends, Matsuoka wasn't completely accepting of Nanase. He was glad that Haru praised him for being such an understanding friend and companion.

His confliction stirred over wanting to clarify what his asexuality meant as far as what Haru was willing and unwilling to do. Since their conversation came to a quick halt last them they talked about it (they hadn't talked about it since Haruka first explained things to him) they never got to discuss boundaries.

That was almost five months ago. Now he was concerned that it was too weird to bring it back up.

Tachibana was tempted to. A few weeks ago Ryugazaki had come to him for some advice about sex, and he had to admit to the younger classman that he was actually a virgin and that he and Nanase had never done anything like that. Hazuki had quickly found out, and the brunette was almost pressed into spilling the beans on his boyfriend, which he felt he had no right.

He almost told them. He felt the need to almost _defend _himself, that it was not him holding out, but rather it was Haru that did want to have sex. (Of course he had no idea whether or not his friends were jumping to conclusions about him or not.)

The more he thought about it, the more he guiltily entertained the idea of what sexual activities Haruka _would_ be willing to do with him … if any.

"So … Haru … haha, you'll never guess what happened the other day! Man, it was pretty awkward," Makoto said suddenly. The longer he was allowed to sit and think in silence he thought he might lose his mind.

"Rei asked you for sex advice." Haruka's ocean blue orbs never left the TV screen (though really, he couldn't have been paying so close attention to such an awful drama, could he?). The brunette's brows arched in surprise. How could he say such things so bluntly without braking face? Perhaps it was because he didn't think of sex in the same way.

"Ah … h-haha, yeah, actually …! Um, how … did you know?" the taller boy asked slowly.

The other shrugged. "Nagisa also asked me."

Oh. _Oh_. So that means, Tachibana thought, their younger classman probably asked the two of them with the other in mind. _Oooh_ that explained a lot, he realized.

Now was his chance though! To see if Haruka was so open about his feelings on the matter that he'd casually tell his friends.

"Oh … Well, um, what did you say to him?"

Blue orbs flitted to the corner of the boy's eyes as he ever so slightly turned his head in his boyfriend's direction. A thin brow raised curiously. "About what?"

"... Well, you know …" Makoto quickly looked to his hands fidgeting in his lap; his cheeks turned a bright pink. Why was this so hard to talk about?

There was a moment of pause before Haruka snorted softly, turning his attention absently back to the television. "I told him I was ace. That we'd never had sex." He shrugged and brushed his hair out of his face. "He still wanted advice. So I told him."

"Oh!" Makoto's eyes brightened up. "Nagisa said nothing about it?" The other shook his head.

"Didn't care."

"So what did you tell him?" Makoto pressed. When he told Rei they hadn't done anything, that was the end of their conversation.

"Well …" Haruka pressed his lips together, formulating his words. He did this frequently when he found himself speaking more than he usually did. "I asked him if they had talked and if their feelings were mutual. He said yes. So I asked if they had both mutually discussed the idea of sex. He said yes and that was why he was asking. When he told me they weren't officially together that way and just wanted to experiment, I advised Nagisa to slow things down with Rei and to let him become comfortable with the small things that usually come before sex. You know. Hugging. Kissing. Holding hands. Cuddling. Other small displays of public affection.

He then told me that he loved Rei and so they wanted to do it, but that Rei was awkward on the topic. I explained to him that loving someone doesn't mean you necessarily have to have sex with them, or at least not right away in their case. That the two are correlated but not necessarily cause of one or the other. He said he guess he understood that and would talk to him. Haven't heard back since."

His boyfriend eyes lit up curiously. "Oh wow! That actually is good advice, Haru. I hope it helped them out. I would've never guessed that they were interested in each other like that. Kind of funny, huh? Haha, that we're dating and they're thinking about it, and we all make up the swim team!" Makoto said cooly, trying to press back the thoughts he was having.

"Gou-chan will have a field day with this."

So did that apply to them too? Was Haruka trying to say that he just wanted to love him without having to have sex? Was the boundary line no sexual activities, period? It was so much easier to assume these things based off a conversation not even about them than for Makoto to clarify.

Not knowing what else to say, or rather, how to say what he wanted to, Makoto cleared his throat. He really couldn't sit in silence and be allowed to think about this any longer.

"A-aha. I should get going now. I almost forgot I promised to take Ren and Ran to the new frozen yogurt parlor near IWSC!"

Slowly the brunette stood up. His book bag rested near his feet so he picked it up and slipped it over his shoulder.

Haruka glanced up from the television drama. It was clear that he doubted his boyfriend, the way his eyes were narrowed and his eyebrows arched in suspicion. Makoto saw this and quickly looked away. The raven haired boy sighed heavily and pursed his lips. He shrugged and lowered his gaze as if he no longer cared.

"... Do you want to come?" Makoto said slowly, unable to ignore the sharp pang in his chest.

"... If you're going to craft a lame lie to avoid talking to me, don't turn around and invite me to come on this imaginary outing."

His boyfriend's words hit him straight in the gut. Makoto felt so guilty, embarrassed, and apologetic all at once, he really did want to just double over. Was Haruka mad? It was so hard to tell, even though they could read each other so well.

"I— … I have to go … I'llseeyoutomorrow."

Makoto turned on his heel and let himself out of the Nanase home. It had been five months, why was he letting this get to him all of a sudden?

* * *

**A/N:** I would appreciate it if people told me what they think, and if they'd like me to upload the rest soon. :')


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Chapter two!

Reminder! I personally don't identify as asexual (I'm demi-pan romantic/sexual), but I know friends who do and have different friends who interpret it differently. I kind of used the basic wiki definition of asexuality for Haruka. I ask that if you give me constructive feedback on that aspect of the story specifically, to please make it constructive, or perhaps private message me. I don't want to misinterpret people that identify with asexuality, but from my understanding there can be many interpretations of it. So please, if you don't know much about it, I would do some research or talk to people first hand who identify with it.

This story is already finished and waiting to be uploaded, I'm just going to wait and get feedback before I put it all up. I may or may not include an omake at the end, that basically gives into fan service, about one of the few times Haruka and Makoto might actually _do_ do any sexual activities together. (That part would be rated M. But I think the language I used in this is pretty tame and the talk of sexuality, I think is one appropriate for teenagers at the least.

* * *

Nanase loved that it was summer. The school pool could be used whenever he felt like using it, and there was no one to scold him over the possibilities of getting a cold. By the time practice came around the senior was itchy to strip and dive in. Honestly it was all he had been thinking about throughout the school day. However in the back of his mind, he did acknowledge that Tachibana was more reclusive today and made hardly any small talk with him. It had been going on since the end of last week. That was his stick, not his boyfriends.

But whatever. Haruka wasn't the type to put in the effort if the other person wasn't going to show signs of trying anyhow. It was obvious that Makoto was avoiding conversation with him.

It was also obvious to their friends.

"Heeey Haru-chan, Haru-chan!" Nagisa came behind his upperclassman as they all exited the dressing rooms, holding him back as their boyfriends (more or less for the blonde and Rei) walked on. "Mako-chan is acting a little funny, don't you think? Is everything alright between you two?"

"... Dunno. Should be. Ask him."

The blonde pouted, over exaggerated, but the concern at work was genuine. He wrapped his thin, lean arms around Haruka's biceps and pulled him close.

"Gou-chan is worried … She says this is why she thinks teammates shouldn't date while on the same team," Nagisa explained. His frowned deepened. "She's afraid that if something happens between the two of you, it's going to effect Mako-chan's performance! He still needs to improve his dive time ..."

Nanase gently pushed the other away from him. "He's the most important person to me, Nagisa. I won't let this get in the way of what he loves to do. Promise. Mako and I are friends first, before anything."

Maybe it was how flat Haruka's voice tended to be, or the lack of expression he seemed to be capable of showing. But it was clear by the look on the blonde's face that he was not at all reassured by his friend. But Nagisa forced a smile nonetheless and nodded his head.

"Ok! I trust you two, Haru-chan.~"

Practice passed by painfully slow. Tachibana still said hardly anything unless he was addressed, and when he was he was easily able to slip on a mask and smile sweetly and make conversation. Except with Haruka. His replies were kept as short as the other's normally were.

Nanase had to admit, it was actually starting to get to him. Often times he stared at Makoto when he swam. Like, all the time, actually. But oddly enough he found himself staring with the same intensity as someone might stare at someone they long for from across the room, hoping that they might turn around and acknowledge them.

Of course it was while his boyfriend was swimming and there was no possibility of that. Even when their eyes did meet out of the pool, the brunette quickly averted his gaze.

After practice Gou was the first to head off and say goodbye for the weekend. The four boys walked to the train station while Hazuki kept away most of the silence by talking on and on, mainly one sided with occasional interjections by Ryugazaki. They bid their seniors bye for the evening. The blonde proposed they all hang out this weekend, maybe visit their friends at Samezuka Academy. Both seniors made neutral noises of approval as the other two boarded.

As the train disappeared and they were left alone, no one around within earshot, Haruka turned to his companion.

"Do you wish to break up with me?" he asked bluntly.

Makoto turned sharply and caught the other's hollow stare. "Wh-what?! No! Haru, no, I …" His heart began to race and he could feel his cheeks darken. "Why would you ask that?"

"I think we should break up. I don't want to tempt you or have you constantly worrying whether or not you're going to offend me." Dammit it was like he could read his mind!

"Tempt me?" Makoto repeated. He let out an incredulous laughter, shaking his head in disbelieve. "Haru," he began as he ran a clammy hand anxiously though his caramel hair. "I was afraid I might tempt you!"

The shorter of the two snorted shamelessly loud. "You couldn't tempt me if you tried. I'm just ace. Period."

"I mean …! Th-that's not what I meant, Haru. You know that," Makoto protested. He sighed heavily, almost making to reach out for his boyfriend. "I was afraid I might make you feel obligated to actually, you know, doing it eventually."

"I thought we were at an understanding. I wouldn't've felt obligated to do anything," Haruka said plainly. It was a rarity for his face to betray his constant state of stoicness, but his eyes did began to narrow and brows dip in what looked to be frustration or annoyance. "But if you had come to want it bad enough, we could've talked. Worked something out. Or work around it, I don't know. Is that what this is about? Have you been thinking of sleeping with me?"

Makoto became flustered. His words fell short of coherency and his gaze became unsteady. "N-No! I-I don't 'want it' like that Haruka! I'm content with just being near you, sharing a kiss, holding your hand — the simple things!"

Ocean blue eyes remained lazed and unconvinced. He did break gaze though, looking out at the train rails. "If you think lying to me is making me any less uncomfortable you're wrong, Makoto."

His boyfriend looked taken aback. He looked hurt. "Haru …!" Makoto whined in frustration, combing his hands through his hair more frantically. "I love you like you love water. All I wish to do is bask in your presence … soak it up … to be near you. I thought you felt the same! I don't want to break up with you!"

Nanase's eyes flitted back to the other, watching him closely. Tachibana looked distressed, undone in a way that the other had never seen; Haruka couldn't think of a time he had ever pleaded so desperately. He mused the thought that the franticity he heard was actually him sounding needy, in more than one way. It was obvious they held each other closely, but Haruka still wanted Makoto to be able to speak to him honestly about how he felt.

"... Whatever. I'm tired of standing here. Let's go." The raven haired boy turned on his heel and began to walk.

Makoto stood there, silent and dumbfounded. He stared after his boyfriend in shock. What had just happened? Where they still dating? Was Haruka mad? The other boy was becoming further down the gravel path before the brunette came back to his senses.

"H-Haru!"

Their walk back home was quiet as usual, but there was a thin line of tension that kept the boys from walking shoulder to shoulder as they normally did. At the bottom of the stairs the boys split ways again. Nanase began to saunter up the stairs at his own pace. He stopped and turned around suddenly to see Makoto still standing at the foot of them, watching him.

"I don't want to go another weekend without seeing you," he said slowly, locking eyes with confused emerald ones. "Come over tomorrow?"

The other boy's demeanor immediately opened up. So Haruka wasn't mad …?

"But, Samezuka …"

"Forget them. I want to spend time with my boyfriend." He turned again to walk up the stairs, leaving Makoto standing smiling to himself.

The following day Nanase was in the middle of cleaning when his boyfriend arrived. His weekend getup usually consisted with his favourite swim jammers and his blue apron draped over his bare torso.

"Haru, I'm coming in!" the brunette announced, coming in through the back door. He had with him a bag full of ice cream bars from one of the street vendors on his way over. "Does your freezer have any room?"

Tachibana peeked into the kitchen before stepping in.

"Hey! HarRUU—!"

Nanase quickly dropped the mop he had been sloshing around as he heard his boyfriend hit the tile. "Makoto?!" He walked gingerly over to the other, minding the still damp spots, and kneeled down next to him. "Mako, are you ok?"

"... Hnn … Y-yeah, h-haha," the brunette mumbled weakly, giggling to cover up a wince. "I just hit my head a little is all … but I'm fine, really! I, uh, I brought ice cream since it's hot out!"

Haruka pursed his lips. "I should've said something when you entered." He reached a hand behind his boyfriend's head, running his fingers through his hair as he caressed the back of it. "I'm sorry." As he used his other hand to help prop him up, the small male leaned in to press a gentle kiss to the brunette's forehead.

He was acting oddly more affectionate than usual.

"It's fine!" Makoto laughed awkwardly, blushing from the small gesture. As he sat up he arched his back, stretching wide to try to relax his tensed back.

"No it isn't. You could've gotten hurt and it could've affected your swimming." Haru's hand slipped from the nape of his neck to his shoulders, massaging his thumb in small circles to ease the other's muscles.

Tachibana laughed airily and waved his hand to dismiss the concern. "And God forbid the Captain of the team isn't able to swim, right?"

"No, God forbid you ever get hurt, idiot." Haruka hoisted him up fully.

His boyfriend seemed to laugh off the remark, but it was obvious it didn't go unregistered. Makoto's olive complexion had darkened with shades of red. "Mmh, you're so sweet, Haru. Here! Ice cream?" he said, taking one out from the bag.

Haruka took it from him and began to undo the packaging. "... Idiot."

For the rest of the morning Tachibana insisted he help his boyfriend clean up around the house. There was much resistance and Nanase insisting that he sit down and rest himself, but the other boy would not give up.

Makoto seemed back to his usual self. He kept up most of the conversation, it being mainly one sided. Haruka was glad, but still unsure if the other was refraining from talking to him honestly. If anything, 'them' seemed to be the last thing Mako wanted to talk about, much to Haruka's annoyance. Was he going to have to bring it up again?

However Makoto did bring up how he had gotten a call from Hazuki before he had left. Apparently the blonde wanted to cancel going to Samezuka, or at least postpone it until Sunday. As it turned out, last night he and Ryugazaki seemed to have hit it off pretty well.

"So they're dating now?" Haru asked as he hung up some pots and pans on their racks.

"Sort of." The brunette shrugged. "They aren't boyfriends. But they're dating he said. I guess Rei is still a little nervous, or maybe unsure. He wants to test the waters and try doing … couple-esque things without the commitment of an official relationship."

"Afraid of the pressure?"

"Maybe? I think he might be afraid. I think he really does like him, but he doesn't want to do anything that might jeopardize their friendship."

There was a break in the conversation. Haruka could almost hear the hesitation in the other's voice. Maybe the topic was teetering too close to their own relationship, he thought. But that would make it the perfect opportunity to segway into a conversation about them.

"Friends with benefits."

"What?" Makoto looked up from dishes he was washing.

"So they're acting as … friends with benefits. Basically." Haruka didn't look away from the pots and pans that were clearly in their proper place and needing no more attendance.

"No! Eh, well, I guess. But I mean … that term makes it sound like they don't actually have feelings for each other."

"I don't think so."

"Well …"

"Do you want something like that? A friend with benefits. Because of how I am?"

There was a loud clatter from the sink. Nanase almost looked. He didn't have to turn around to feel his boyfriend's eyes burrowing into him intensely.

"Haru, no—!"

"Kisumi. I'm sure Kisumi wouldn't mind." The shorter male glanced at the demented reflection in the pots. Makoto started to come at him.

"Wh-what? No! Haru, no! I don't want that—"

"I wouldn't mind." Nanase shrugged.

His balance was thrown off as he was forced to turn around. The taller man loomed over him, his gaze intense and chilling. Tachibana's lips were pursed thinly, far from amused. Blue eyes flitted to the hand gripping too tightly at his biceps then back up to his boyfriend's face.

"Yes. You would. I know you, Haruka," Makoto said sternly. "Don't joke like that."

They held each other's gaze. Something inside him, something that only ever stirred when Makoto Tachibana was near, made him betrayed his instincts. His eyebrows twitched, settling in low on his brow. He looked up at his boyfriend with concern.

"I just want you to be happy…"

The brunette sighed and shook his head. "My happiness if reflective of yours, idiot."

Large hands moved to cup Haruka's face. They tilted him so that he couldn't look away.

"Makoto … that way of thinking is getting us no where …"

* * *

**A/N:** One more chapter to post, and then I might work on an omake. :') Tell me what you think, please!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Chapter three!

Reminder! I personally don't identify as asexual (I'm demi-pan romantic/sexual), but I know friends who do and have different friends who interpret it differently. I kind of used the basic wiki definition of asexuality for Haruka. I ask that if you give me constructive feedback on that aspect of the story specifically, to please make it constructive, or perhaps private message me. I don't want to misinterpret people that identify with asexuality, but from my understanding there can be many interpretations of it. So please, if you don't know much about it, I would do some research or talk to people first hand who identify with it.

* * *

Later that evening Nanase cooked mackerel and steamed rice and vegetables. They talked less after he brought up the idea of the brunette 'hooking' up with their former classmate. Tachibana decided that regardless of how awkward the silence got, he was going to tough it out at his boyfriend's home, even if it meant sitting on the couch and watching awful dramas in silence.

While the shorter one cooked dinner, he was at least allowed to sit alone in the living room. He had tried to offer his help, but Haruka refused it.

When the food was ready he set it out on the small table in the other room. "Mako," Haru called for him.

At first they ate in silence. Makoto commented on how the mackerel was good, that Haru always made the best. But that was something he always said. Haruka asked him if the vegetables were too soft, and Mako said they were perfect. Living most of the time on his own, it was no surprise that Nanase became an excellent cook.

"We should talk about something," Haruka said as he helped himself to another serving.

The brunette swallowed thickly and took a sip of his water. "Like what?"

"Us."

Makoto picked his glass back up and took another sip. Another long sip. The raven haired boy watched him coolly, feeding food into his expecting mouth without glancing down at the bowl. The other kept drinking.

"Makoto put down your glass."

Tachibana held up a finger on his other hand. Slowly … slowly but surely, he finished the whole thing. "I'm going to get more water," he said as he began to rise.

"Makoto sit down."

Makoto sat down. Feeling a little ashamed for trying to be so evasive, he hung his head and stared at his bowl of food. It was weird, to have his best friend and boyfriend call him by his full name, when they were so accustomed to nicknames.

"I think you have something you want to ask me, Mako. The elephant in the room. I don't mind answering it," Haruka said simply, taking another bite of the mackerel.

"Oh …" the brunette mumbled. "Ha … h-haha … this is kind of awkward." He reached up to finger through his hair, pinching strands at their ends and twisting them around.

"You need to ask because you're uncomfortable by not knowing. I want you to ask. I want you to talk to me if you feel the need to," Haru said and set his chopsticks down. He wiped the corner of his mouth with a napkin. "Communication with us has always been unconventional. I know I don't say much. But it works. But it's going to stop working if you stop being open and honest with me. If you don't think you know for certain how I think or feel, ask me. Or else we're going to come to a stand still."

Tachibana winced, just thinking about it. He knew it was all his fault. The guilt was weighing on him and his chest literally hurt thinking about how he was royally messing up being a good friend and boyfriend.

When he agreed to date Haruka he made a note to himself that no matter what happened, nothing would change. They had always shared things and been relatively affectionate with each other, so the fact that Haruka came out to him as being aseuxal, technically meant nothing had to change … right? They just held each other in even closer regards and didn't have to get any more physical than they already were.

He didn't expect Haru to comply to any desires he had, and he was ok with that. Until he started to get frustrated with himself and to the extent to which he thought of such desires that he knew could never come true.

"O-Ok …" Makoto said finally. _Inhale_. He held it. _Exhale_. Finally he looked up to meet Haruka's deep blue eyes which were waiting for the other expectantly. His tanned cheeks turned red. "Haru … what … are you willing and unwilling to … do … with me?" As Nanase opened his mouth to reply, he interrupted quickly. "And please! Ah … be honest. Don't think of my needs, but yours."

Haruka nodded and didn't hesitate, clearly having thought about this before. "For starters, I said I was incapable of feeling sexual desire or need, Mako. I know I probably never will because I've been staring at half naked people swimming my entire life." He pause to collect his thoughts. "... If I can watch you, the most … important and beautiful person to me, swim, with little clothes, watching closely how your body glides gracefully through the water … and not once become aroused, even if I tried to forced myself … I'm pretty sure I am asexual."

The blush on Tachibana's face intensified. To know he meant so much to his friend made him feel elated. He knew he would never be able to fully comprehend how Nanase felt and thought the way he did. To say he never once watched him swim and imagined doing more intimate things with him would be a lie.

"To clarify: I have nothing against the idea or physicality behind sex. I understand why it's romanticized. Making love to the person who is dearest to you … sounds like a beautiful thing. But not compelling to me. I don't see it as a necessity at all. Like I explained to Nagisa—"

"Yes, I know … I-I know. And I have to agree with you," Makoto said slowly. "I don't think loving someone means you should or have to sleep with them either. One doesn't lead to the other. There are plenty of people who have one but not the other."

"Exactly."

Nanase picked up his glass to drink his water. "I'll tell you now, Makoto … I will have sex with you if you want. It's just … something I'd prefer to not do often. Not often, as in, sparsely. On occasion. Maybe a special one." There was a break in his monologuing, but his boyfriend knew he was not yet finished. The shorter one pursed his lips, his eyebrows dropped. He was thinking.

"It's like … plants in the house …"

Makoto raised a brow curiously.

"My mother likes plants in the house," Haru continued slowly, still trying to pick his words. "I don't care for them inside. Some people really enjoy it. I don't get it. But I still think plants are pretty. Since she's never home ... I let the inside plants die and tell her I don't know what happened … when really, I just don't want to care for them." He glanced down for a moment. "I mean … I guess I don't mind a few inside … but I'd prefer to keep them outside…"

The brunette shifted awkwardly. He wasn't sure that he followed at all. "... You're comparing decorative tastes to sex, Haru. I, uh … I don't think I understand."

"Maybe it's because you're not asexual and maybe it's because you don't mind having plants indoor," the other replied flatly.

Makoto sighed heavily. "Then explain to me, Haru! That's what I want, is for you to explain and for me to try to understand!"

"... I'll break down the analogy. 'Some people enjoy plants indoors' meaning 'some people enjoy sex'. I don't. Letting her plants die, meaning to say, if you could wait out any of your sexual arousals over me, I would appreciate it. Though unlike her plants, I'll take care of you if you absolutely need it. 'I don't mind a few inside' meaning I'll have intercourse with you if you really want, but preferring to 'keep them outside' means that my preference, if you must, is external stimulation on you."

Of all things, Tachibana couldn't fathom why of all things his boyfriend was using an analogy of plants to explain to him the boundaries of his willingness to have sex.

The question was on the tip of Makoto's tongue. As long as he was trying to be open with him ... "And, ah … what about you?"

"Me?" Haruka furrowed his brows a moment before he understood. "... Oh. Well. Think of me as … a desert rain could. And you are the desert plant. Desert plants don't need much water. But if you ask, I'll give. I don't need to receive." He cleared his throat, glancing away from the table. "You know … since I don't really need to get off like you do."

Makoto opened his mouth to speak but Haru cut him off. "I _live_ in water. When I'm not physically in it, Makoto, _you_ are my water. The water I must drink, the water running through my veins, the water when it's too cold to swim, and when I require it's warmth..." The blush on his cheeks appeared brighter on his ashen skin. "All I need is to immerse myself in your presence and I've been well taken care of."

There was a long pause now … Tachibana seemed frozen in space. Thoughts and emotions bombarded him all at once as he felt warm tears swelling the corners of his eyes. He felt disgusting, and yet relieved. Nanase's words made him feel guilty, and yet they filled him with such joy and happiness he couldn't even form words.

It wasn't either of their faults, he knew, that Haru didn't want to really get involved sexually with his boyfriend, and yet Makoto really did. There was no reason, he now understood, for him to feel ashamed for wanting Haruka the way he did.

Truly, the way Haru felt for him was in many ways similar to just how much Makoto loved him in return. But they both knew there was eventually going to be a point where Makoto might ask, or be afraid to ask, for something his boyfriend was reluctant to give. But willing nonetheless if it would please him.

A frown tugged at Nanase's lips. "Makoto … you're … crying? Why … do you not understand? A-are you upset?" He sat up on his haunches. "M-Makoto … I … I can't apologize for the way I am—"

"You _idiot_...!" Makoto slurred, laughter cracking his voice. Slowly he got up from his matt. Wiping away at his running nose, he plopped himself down next to his boyfriend. "I wouldn't' want you to! Don't you dare even think about it. You're perfect! In every way, Haruka."

Tachibana wrapped his arms around the shorter boy and pulled him into his chest. "You're so unbelievably selfless and gracious, it's just, h-haha ... I just feel like shit right now is all."

Haruka was stiff at first. Of all reactions, he didn't expect to receive this one from his boyfriend. The tears were sending him a mix signal. However he eased into the embrace as Makoto's arms coiled tightly around him. He could feel the other quietly choking back sobs as he buried his face into his shoulder.

"I … didn't mean to make you feel bad," the raven haired boy mumbled, resting his chin near the other's ear. Haruka cradled the back of the other's head. "Mako … please, uh, please don't cry. You're fine. We're fine. Everything's fine."

The brunette pulled away to rub his eyes. He laughed weakly and shook his head. "S-sorry, ha … I just … I really couldn't ask for a better friend and boyfriend, I'm so happy …!" Makoto chuckled. He pressed a chaste kiss to Haruka's forehead, brushing away his bangs. "Please … you'd be willing to do something for me you wouldn't normally do … is there anything you'd like of me? Regarding our relationship … or not, I suppose. I don't care. I just feel I should give something of myself."

Nanase sighed and shook his heads. "It's not necessary that relationships work that way. I've already agreed to something extra, you don't need to do the same."

Makoto nodded his head, very much understanding of that notion. There were times he'd gotten things for his friends for holidays or random occasions, and didn't want or expect anything in return. "I thought you might say that …"

"But if you insist, you should start calling me 'babe' and 'baby'. Pet names are cute. We should use them from now on."

"Aha … h-haha … what? Seriously? That's your request …?" Makoto leaned back. Admittedly he was a little confused whether or not he should take his boyfriend seriously. Not that he would mind it, but he really couldn't see Haru calling him things like 'babe'.

"Call me your little dolphin. Say it. Com on."

"What!" The brunette's olive complexion deepened a red. "I-I'm not going to call you that, Haru, that's kind of weird …"

Haruka leaned into him. "Saaay. It. Say it."

"No!"

"Tell me you love me. And then say it. Please?" Like always he was able to refrain a smile, but Haru's eyes twinkled with a sort of playfulness. "Ma-ko-to~hun. You know you want to." He slipped his thin hands up to cup his boyfriend's cheek, trying to get him to mouth the words.

"For the love of—! Ok! Ok."

Makoto Tachibana exhaled loudly and bit his lip as he averted his gaze from the other's. From the crown of his head to the nape of his neck, the poor soul was turning red as a beat.

"You're the most important person in my life. A-and I know you know. But I won't ever stop telling you this." Mako held his breath. "I love you, b-babe …!"

"And?"

"And …" The brunette almost wanted to explode from embarrassment—thank god their friends weren't around! "And you'll … always be my cute … little … _dolphin_."

Makoto struggled to hide his face, trying to peel it away from his boyfriend's grip. It was almost impossible. He didn't have the strength and Haru clearly had no intention of letting go.

"'I love you babe' would've sufficed, to be honest. "

With a smirk fixated on his lips, Haruka brought the other's face down on to his into a gentle kiss. Makoto didn't need to be guided to know what to do next; he slipped his long arms around his boyfriend's waist, pulling him onto his lap. Haruka wrapped his limbs around him possessively and deepened the kiss.

When he was caught up in moments like this with Haru, Makoto could've cared less whether he got the chance to sleep with his boyfriend or not. The amount of ecstasy and satisfaction he got from such simple gestures like this made him think he could swear off sex for life if it was for the one he loved most.

Really though. Because Haruka Nanase was a fucking fantastic kisser and that made up for it.

* * *

**A/N:** So that's basically it!

So I'm going to write an OMAKE. It'll probably be two chapters long, and rated M, just a forewarning. I'm almost done with the first part, so that's why I'm uploading the last official chapter now. Feedback much appreciated!


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